Man cannot live on bread, ham, and cheese alone

I have come to the conclusion that at some point in the history of Central Europe (I reckon maybe between 300 A.D. and 600 A.D.) there must have been nothing to do for years and years except come up with increasingly more elaborate ways to cook, cure, slice and present ham. That can be the only explanation of the 'Fleisch' counter at the local supermarket, which appears to stretch on for eternity.

This is no bad thing, of course, because I love the variety of meats you get here, and the European breakfast of hams and cheese is a real favourite of mine. Although I did set some sort of record for having ham and cheese and bread for seven consecutive meals in the middle of the week.

I don't want to be eating out every night, as the point of being here is to save money so we can afford to stay in Crete again next year, not to get fat(ter). So I've been buying a little bit of ham and cheese and having it for lunch and dinner.

Faced with such a bewildering variety of options I've just ploughed straight in. The first time I got some 'Jerome' cheese, then I tried a soft cheese that was coated in peppercorns. I also tried a dried wurst type thing, which I wasn't so keen on.

The food at the Kaiserhof when I have eaten there has been of a very high quality, with huge portions. They do a fine turkey salad which comes with the meat steaming hot on a bed of beautifully dressed greens, and I've also had an excellent Goulash soup there.

However, the Alan Partridge warning bells were ringing in my ears when I was able to order from memory without having to consult the menu. Next thing you know I'll have my own "big" plate there.