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April 11, 2006

Mi Gorda Bella or My Fat Beauty

Gordabella1We get the weekly English language newspaper Athens News for two reasons. Firstly to get an overview of the news in Greece, although to be honest the editorial line of the paper does have a touch of Daily Express alarmism about it - apparently everything in Greece is going wrong/too expensive/corrupt/will kill us.

The second reason is for the weekly TV guide. I'm sure I shall write at greater length about Greek TV in the future, but for now we are pleased that unlike in Germany or Italy, imported TV here is subtitled rather than dubbed. Most nights they have a couple of English language movies on across the channels, and currently they are running Smallville stripped across weekdays at 6:45pm, which is giving us our required daily doseage of teenage pseudo sci-fi.

Gordabella2Our favourite show so far though is My Fat Beauty. This is on just before Smallville, and we always catch the last five minutes of it. It is a Venuzealan soap opera dubbed into Greek. We love it. I don't think we've seen the end of an episode yet where at least two of the characters weren't actually physically fighting. The sets are pure MDF, the acting pure melodrama. Or as Whisky Pants put it on their blog - "They're absurd, the acting is outta control, and hardly anyone has their real boobs. And they kill me."

Gordabella3We don't understand it at all, or if we do it seems crazy -for example in this picture the lady is going to bed with a masked intruder who she has fallen in love with - what's that about, eh? Anyway, we've taken to making up our own storylines, which we reckon are probably much better than the real ones, like how in one of the married couples the man is proabably actually a woman in disguise, and she's got her "wife" preganant using stolen sperm, but it turns out that the sperm originated from the wife's bioligical brother, and so forth.

It's taken less than a fortnight, and without realising it, we've become the couple from the Talking Heads song "Found A Job":

Damn that television ... what a bad picture!
Don’t get upset, it’s not a major disaster.
There’s nothing on tonight, he said, I don’t know what’s the matter!
Nothing’s ever on, she said, so ... I don’t know why you bother.

We’ve heard this little scene, we’ve heard it many times.
People fighting over little things and wasting precious time.
They might be better off ... I think ... the way it seems to me.
Making up their own shows, which might be better than t.v.

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